Bad friend

[bop_radar]

I have been a very bad LJ/DW friend this year, thanks to a bad case of workaholicism, especially these last few months. While initially motivated by legitimate financial issues, I kind of have a problem: a tragic inability to turn down work even when I've got more than enough. It's led to me not having a day off in months, and being completely exhausted... working 40 hours weeks even when I'm really sick and so on. It doesn't help that the one question nearly everyone asks you when you're freelance is 'do you get enough work?'/'are you still getting work?' That hits my anxiety buttons STRAIGHT away--it's always easy to believe the next job will be your last, and too often I let anxiety and not my instincts decide whether I take a job or not. That's got to change. Even if it means taking longer to get out of debt or having to cut back on some things.

Anyway, today being my first day off, I logged into my fannish email inbox for the first time in a couple of months today... I haven't checked my friendslist in... god I don't even know... but it doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about any of you. I hope my friends here are well and that if you're celebrating a holiday, it is a restful and relaxing time for you and your family!!

While I can't ever hope to 'catch up' exactly, I do hope to have a little more time to myself, to watch some vids or maybe even do a little vidding myself, and to reconnect with people, over the next few months. Life's too short to keep torturing myself like this.

So anyway, sorry for sucking, hopefully I'll suck less in 2012, and best wishes to all!

Comments

[intermezzo]

Hey, welcome back! :)

I'm glad you have work to keep you busy, but don't work too much, okay? You sound SO stressed out!

And yeah, let's hope 2012 will be better (and it's funny cos there are people who think that the end of the world will happen in 2012)

[bop_radar]

Yeah, oh my god, 'so stressed out' is an understatement! I have been losing my mind... I need to have a bit more faith that I don't have to clutch at everything to keep from starving. ;) Of course it's also my own fault for spending money on travel and stretching my finances too thin... I need to find some happy medium somewhere.

I hope 2012 is a wonderful year for you too--I'm sure life can get better, world-end or no world-end. ;p

[kass]

Oh, i hope your 2012 is easier on you, my dear! It's lovely to see you around these parts.

[bop_radar]

Thank you!! 2011 was amazing in all the parts that WEREN'T work. ;) I just need to get my shit together a bit more in 2012. ;)

Ohh, I did watch VM in 2011! (Your icon reminds me!) So good to finally see that show--I enjoyed it greatly. :)

[such_heights]

Hello, lovely! Hope you get a chance to have some time to yourself soon. <3

[bop_radar]

Hellloooo! I hope you are well!
Yeah, massively starved of time-to-self, but barring 24 hours with the fam, I'm looking at a whole three days of that now! :D :D :D Amazing!!!

[revolutionaryjo]

I'm glad you're getting some time to yourself today. Sounds like you deserve it. :)

Happy holidays and hoping for the best for you in 2012!

[bop_radar]

Thank you!! Ohh, Noda! Just what I feel like! :D Such good holiday fare...

I hope your holidays are joy filled as well!

[norwich36]

Good to hear from you, and I hope things calm down a bit for you in 2012.

[bop_radar]

Thank you so much! ((HUGS)) I hope you're doing alright too! It's been a crazy year...

[eggcrack]

You don't suck at all. Well, except maybe for stressing yourself to death, but all of us suck like that. I hope 2012 will be a kinder year for you! <3

[bop_radar]

Thank you! 2011 was very, very kind to me in ways that really mattered. It was ME that was unkind to me in the later half. Less stress, more life... it's a good plan!