Ten things to know about me, defriending amnesty, TV

[bop_radar]

It seems timely to update my things to know about me. It's been (gulp!) nearly four years since I wrote it. Most of it is still true but since my fannish activities have changed over the years and since I've recently been friended by a few people and we're about to enter the US TV cycle again, I thought people might like to know something a little more recent. ;)

It comes with a blanket defriending amnesty. I almost never mind when I get defriended. For realz. And if I do, well who cares? You don't have to hear about it anymore. :p My friendslist is getting to the totally unmanageable stage for me so I'll probably go through and defriend a few journals at some point based on diverging interests or not corresponding over a long period of time. As always, it's not an indication that I hate you. 95% of my posts are public so you're really not missing out on much.


1. I watch Smallville. I'm still watching Smallville, in its ninth season, and yes, I'm sure it's going to be some terrible television. Once upon a time, Smallville had visual metaphor and subtext and those days were glorious indeed. Now I watch for the pretty and the Clois (when it's not causing me grief), the common thread being Clark. I really don't know if Smallville will ever again warrant the essays I used to write about it, but I'm probably still going to comment on episodes. It may not be real 'meta' though. Who knows?

2. Battlestar Galactica broke my heart and stomped it into itty bitty tiny pieces. Yes, I am a Lee fan. Yes, I am a Lee/Kara shipper. I'm not going to apologise for being either. I was also an (initially affectionately) critical reader of the show and I think it massively copped out on its premise. I had to more or less leave the fandom to deal with that without hurting other people and I am still very sensitive about it. If I ever don't watch or read your BSG work or walk away from a BSG-related conversation, you can guarantee it's me not you and I'm doing so out of respect.

3. I'm sensitive to misogyny. Over the years in fandom, I've worked out I'm more sensitive to it than most. If I feel it to be present it can hold me back from enjoying certain material. It doesn't mean I think you're a terrible person for liking the shows I find misogynistic. I don't talk about them much. You can probably guess which ones they are by the fact that I don't (ever) post about them. :) I'm not into harshing squee though if I find a sympathetic ear somewhere I'll probably babble happily about my issues because holding unpopular opinions in fandom is lonely.

4. Vidding is kind of my fandom now. I do viddy things. Sometimes that means I'm reclusive because vidding is more fun than fandom (sorry!). Sometimes it means I rec. Sometimes it means I host chats (more on that this weekend! I haz plan!) or vidding meta or something. If it bores you, my apologies. As I've lost fandoms, I've found that vidding is the one thing that keeps me here and it's my big passion. I don't mind if it's not yours but a large number of my posts may be about that. You can occasionally take advantage of me by pimping your vid bunnies to me. Several people have done so successfully. ;) I love visual metaphor more than anything and so being a vid viewer is as much a part of my identity as being a vidder myself.

5. When I'm actively 'in' a fandom I often seem to have unpopular or unusual opinions. Fandom constantly baffles me. I expect it will continue to do so. I don't mean to be contrary but I seem to be built that way. I think if I were an animal I'd be that antelope grazing by itself that gets eaten by the lion because it doesn't hang with the crowd enough. Lucky I'm not an antelope! It's not about fandom, it's me: I've always been the one on the side thinking 'hmm, I don't really agree...'

6. Personality-wise, please see Lee Adama as the most accurate portrayal of my emotional make-up. Guilt complex, occasional horribly-angsted-over-and-regretted bursts of anger, overthinks things, wears heart on sleeve (except when repressing it and having ragefits or depression), blames self for everything, perfectionist, and the one lonely critical voice against the groupthink... not because I don't love the group but because I have strong principles and because I'm too much of an independent thinker. Despite all that if you're my friend I am fiercely loyal. I live half in my heart, half in my head and the conflict between them often makes me dizzy. Serial contrarian.

7. I hate conflict (despite possible recent appearances to the contrary) and if I think I've upset you I'll feel guilty about it forever (see point 6).

8. I'm wordy. I'm also very squeeful. If either of those things annoys you then you are might want to skip my posts or defriend.

9. I'm probably not going to be watching much TV this season. Smallville's the only thing currently on my list (hilarious, right?). Oh, I will be watching Dollhouse because it's stealing all my favourite actors, but I won't be writing about it. I may catch up on some older TV, you may or may not hear about it.

10. In terms of fannish activities: I am one of the sv_ledger editors, I beta read for freece and love betaing vids when I get asked. That, vidding and my own journal/friendslist keep me pretty busy. I rarely if ever read fic. If I read yours, it means I really really like you (or it). Don't take it personally if I don't--I'm just more into vids as a fannish expression. And I get enough reading in my real life (where I'm a freelance book editor and obsessive reader).

I leave you with a quote from 'The Getting of Wisdom': many a day came and went before she grasped that oftentimes just those mortals who feel cramped and unsure in the conduct of everyday life, will find themselves to rights, with astounding ease, in that freer, more spacious world where no practical considerations hamper, and where the creatures that inhabit dance to their tune: the world where are stored men's best thoughts, the hopes, and fancies; where the shadow is the substance, and the multitude of business pales before the dream. That describes fandom (at its best) beautifully to me. I'll be where the shadows are the substance...

Comments

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that BSG broke your heart! and I understand if you don't want to talk about it; I've gotten my heart broken before. I didn't watch it while everyone else was watching it -- I started late, watched it in fits and starts, and then become totally obsessed and finished the whole thing in a mad sprint -- and I have a kind of uncritical adoration for it because the characters gripped me so tightly.

Anyway. I will be watching Dollhouse this season too, though likely not posting about it much. (Then again, who knows?) I think I am most excited about S4 of Friday Night Lights, because -- omg, who would have thought they would give us two more seasons of my show??? Granted, they're short seasons -- 13-ep ones -- but still, that is so much better than I expected, and I am totally asquee about that.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

I think if I'd watched BSG fast I might have uncritical adoration still too. Instead I lived and breathed the pain for two and a half years. Basically I saw the show through Lee's character perspective and that's not a very happy place. It's still one of my most important/influential fandoms (I can barely write 'favourite' now though)--it's a big part of my identity whether people know that or not, and I'm still struggling with my grief.

Friday Night Lights! Yay! When does it come back? Maybe I will write on that!! It used to me my beautiful show which made me blissfully happy... I'm a bit worried that it won't be the same (see above re. burnt by BSG) but here's hoping!

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Great post! *hugs you* You are a most wonderfully loyal friend. As for Smallville, I don't know if I'll be watching. Maybe for Alessandro Juliani. But mebbe not.

Viiiiiiiids! *waits patiently for the weekend*

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'd start spamming about vid-related things now (so much to post on the weekend!) but I have to work and get my hair cut. :)

*hugs my Kara girl who knows me so well*

[kristiinthedark.livejournal.com]

What?? You still watch Smallville? *DEFRIENDS YOU OMG*

Hi, K!!! I love you NO MATTER WHAT. For serious. *squishes you hard*

(btw, the farther I get from BSG, the more Lee/Kara I become and thus, the angrier I get at the show. *grumbles*)

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

You still watch Smallville? *DEFRIENDS YOU OMG*
:p :p :p :p

I love you too!!!

the farther I get from BSG, the more Lee/Kara I become and thus, the angrier I get at the show
Oh, MAN! That path is a hard and painful one! But I heart you for having the impulse towards the ship. They were/are so beautiful... they were so robbed.

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Yay for vidding posts! I love having vidding as my rock as I experience so many fandoms and my interest goes from one to another.

What about Friday Night Lights? Or Glee???

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

You know I had actually forgotten about FNL!! (Sacrilege, I know!) But somehow it's so hard to imagine anything beyond that superlative season 3 finale. But you can bet I'll be watching it... when does it start?

Glee... I watched ep 1 and found it 'meh'.

[mresundance.livejournal.com]

I'm generally allergic to misogyny too. :/

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Hee! Ever had that moment where you start watching something and then gradually your face falls and you think 'oh' :( ? It's always so damn disappointing.

[0mindthegap0.livejournal.com]

LOLOL at the huge SPN fan. : P

I'm not claiming any higher ground here either though, mind. Anything with spaceships and explosions in is always going to be an automatic guilty pleasure. The Stargate franchise uses all the same 'hot chicks of the week' as they do up in BC.

Oddly enough, the regular normal chicks in BC who don't act tend to be way hotter, in my opinion.

[spiderwebb.livejournal.com]

i was just mentioning to my mother the horrible things i would do to RDM should we ever cross paths in a dark alley...

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

As you do! :p Oh, lord, I am NEVER GOING TO RECOVER, I tell you! If the man ever comes to Melbourne Australia, I will picket his house, I swear. *is a one-woman flashmob*

[talitha78.livejournal.com]

I think if I were an animal I'd be that antelope grazing by itself that gets eaten by the lion because it doesn't hang with the crowd enough. Lucky I'm not an antelope!

LOL!!!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

*munch munch grass munch*

[fleegull.livejournal.com]

I have never been less excited for SV than I am this season but that doesn't mean it can't win me back.

I think that your opinion of BSG was the majority opinion: most people disliked the ending big time. So, therefore me liking it makes me an even bigger fandom loose cannon! They had a Latino man commanding a spaceship and he got to live the very end? For me, that was huge.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for pointing out one win in a field of fail! Fair enough! (I must admit I completely forget that he's Latino because I didn't think he was 'raced' in BSG and it doesn't seem relevant to his character, but it is undeniably good viewed from that perspective. (Killing all the women still kind of a downer for me though.) Fandom loose canons are cool though! ;) They're the best kind of fans. :p *biased*

Yeah, excitement level loooow for SV. Occasionally I think I'm excited but then I realise I just want to look at Tom and really, I can do that in fanvids... who needs the show?

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Apologies: my comment was a bit fail-y and 0mindthegap0 was right to point that out. I'm glad you mentioned it and it actually makes the BSG creators rise in my esteem a bit. And hey, he's a really good actor so it's yay he got a whole show. I wish they'd had a bit more control over other aspects of racial politics on the show, but at least there's some scores for diversity.

[norwich36.livejournal.com]

You are my favorite antelope.

*Skipping over the BSG comments as I still haven't seen the last 7 episodes. Amazing, that.*

Have you watched Glee? I don't know if it's your kind of thing or not, but it's one show that both my fannish friends *and* my RL friends are loving.

I always enjoy your vidding posts, even though I generally have nothing to contribute to them. (Since, as you know, your take on fanfic is pretty much me and vids).

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

That IS amazing! And I don't really say much that's a spoiler.

I did try the first ep (or maybe it was the pre-air) of Glee and it was a bit... shiny or something? I'm not sure if I need to like musical theatre to get into it, maybe? I'm a bit dodgy on musical theatre... it seemed cute but the jokes seemed kinda forced. Maybe I should try it again?

I worry that I bore my non-vidding flisters with my vidding spam. :p Thanks for the reassurance! And hey, everyone can scroll on, right?

[yamakasi.livejournal.com]

there'll be no hard feelings from me if you remove me because i realise we never really sat down and talked or anything after our mutual friendage awhile back (and when i was over at moonwitch). i just hope that your offer to talk to me about being an editor still stands if you do! XD; it's where i'm hopefully heading job-wise, and finding an australian editor on LJ who is into fandom is rare (at least IMO!), soo. :3

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Oh hey! *waves* I'm totally still good for that, for sure! Is this a convo you want to have now-ish or in a while? I'm cool whenever, honest, and glad you reminded me of it. :)

[goodvibe.livejournal.com]

I'm sticking it out with SV too. I'm in till the (bitter?) end as they say, heh. I'm hoping, as always that this season does right by Clark. On the plus side I think it's heartening that ED has finally been upped in her ep count. So that's something to look forward to. And if you do decide to share your thoughts on any of the eps - you've got an avid reader in me.

'Dollhouse' is a tricky one. It can be uncomfortable viewing sometimes, and the first few eps took their sweet time last season in warming up, but once the show hit a stride, I became far more interested. I'm definitely sticking around for the second season.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Can't get much more bitter than Lex killed by monkey... I do hope it will be good for Clark now. I have a BIG Clark post coming up to celebrate the start of the season. ;) I have Clark pom poms ready. I imagine in reality I will say some stuff. ;) (and thanks!)

Dollhouse is still uncomfortable for me. I will tune in for Jamie Bamber and Summer Glau but it's not a show that's really 'for me'.

[tearful-eye.livejournal.com]

aww. VIDDING \o/
even when nothing works as it should, it's still my happy place.

& i don't really have anything to say. except maybe that i should start to watch smallville. i've never watched it before and i only want to now because so many people told me it's similar (in style) to merlin... and i kinda love that. hmmm.


ps. you should start to watch psych!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Vidding happy place yesssss! :) I feel so the same way. Isn't it wonderful to have that?

There is a bit of a similarity between Merlin and Smallville but Smallville is longer and more erratic in quality, I think, so if you do watch it, know that it's very up and down: the good eps are really good, the bad ones ... pretty bad. ;) I'm not sure what season 9 will be like but it's changed a lot over the years too. It is very pretty though! :)

Psych! Yes! That show that I should watch! (now may be a good time, indeed!)

[such_heights]

Yay, I always like posts like this! And that quote you end on is absolutely gorgeous. I hear you on the misogyny and the BSG heartbreak, as well. (For me they were one and the same sometimes - how many dead chicks, RDM?)

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

that quote you end on is absolutely gorgeous.
Thanks! You're the first person to mention it! :)

For me they were one and the same sometimes - how many dead chicks, RDM?
FOR SURE. Season 4 was such a drudge of horror in that regard... any hope that the show would return to its promise of equal gender relations (ha!) or complex plot resolutions that didn't end with heroes and monotheism and magical fairies angels evaporated. :(

[silverscreengal.livejournal.com]

I'm not really sure why any of the things you wrote about would cause anyone to defriend you although there may be some just because the fandom is weird that way.

I don't enjoy the games of the fandom and have always loved your posts, mostly because you seem so geniune and not into writing what you think other people want you to say. Bring on the individuality!!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thanks! :) I take that as a compliment. (And yes, fandom is weird and you never can tell...)

[thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com]

I just started watching Smallville again, dunno why. Vidding it, too. Mayhaps I'll pester you for beta later on...

It doesn't mean I think you're a terrible person for liking the shows I find misogynistic. I don't talk about them much. You can probably guess which ones they are by the fact that I don't (ever) post about them. :) I'm not into harshing squee though if I find a sympathetic ear somewhere I'll probably babble happily about my issues because holding unpopular opinions in fandom is lonely.

Ooh, I'm curious. Not Dollhouse, apparently. Supernatural? Others that I don't know about?

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Hee! and yay! Smallville vid! Feel free to pester. ;)

Dollhouse, yes, Supernatural hell yes, and also Mad Men. BSG retrospectively thanks to S4.