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I got off the internet (and got a life)
May. 23rd, 2010 12:27 pmWow. This feels so weird. Posting. I haven't done so for so long.
Basically, this is a long-overdue apology/disclaimer. I more or less vanished from LiveJournal for the last four-five months. I should have probably been upfront about that but at the time I wasn't really aware it was happening or how long it would last. The short story is that from being a place of enjoyable escapism originally, LiveJournal became a Very Unhappy Place for me (for reasons not worth going into). And while I do miss my friends here, I'm sorry, but there's not really a lot of point in LJ when it makes you miserable. (I hope you'll agree!) I guess you could call it an extremely localised depression.
In fact, 95 per cent of my depressive symptoms in the last months have centred on online life, weird though that may seem. While it's meant I vanished from here, probably disappointing and pissing off a bunch of people in the process (sorry!), it's actually had an overwhelmingly positive effect in the rest of my life, since work, home life, health, friends, etc have been depression-free zones!
( some of the benefits of internet freedom! )
What does it mean going forward? I have no idea. I may still not be around for some time to come. I'd say expecting nothing from me would be a good idea. If I do come back, I probably will not be posting the way I used to. ( brief notes on status of current personal fandoms )
I'm still vidding, because vidding (the process not the fandom) is joyful. I may not show you the results though, I really don't know. I'm not very audience-oriented right now and haven't been bothered to update my BAM links though I did see that BAM went pfft.
One thing I feel I should do though is say that since I'm unlikely to be around, ANYONE is welcome to pick up the idea of 'vid chats' if they want to and run with them. This should hopefully be clear anyway--they were always free to be borrowed/adapted/done with as you will... but just in case anyone's hung back thinking I might be annoyed to be 'copied': no, man, I'd be delighted! I just probably won't be there. :) Apologies for dropping the ball--but please don't wait for or feel limited by my absence.
This may all seem very selfish. I'm sure it is. I have guilt and shame about it. I encourage you to defriend me. Really. No hurt feelings! Shoo! :) And I hope you are all as happy in your real lives, and by some lucky star in fandom too, as I am.
(Disabling comments because I'm not very interact-y these days. I assume anyone who really wants to talk to me will email or PM me, which you're still welcome to do.)
Basically, this is a long-overdue apology/disclaimer. I more or less vanished from LiveJournal for the last four-five months. I should have probably been upfront about that but at the time I wasn't really aware it was happening or how long it would last. The short story is that from being a place of enjoyable escapism originally, LiveJournal became a Very Unhappy Place for me (for reasons not worth going into). And while I do miss my friends here, I'm sorry, but there's not really a lot of point in LJ when it makes you miserable. (I hope you'll agree!) I guess you could call it an extremely localised depression.
In fact, 95 per cent of my depressive symptoms in the last months have centred on online life, weird though that may seem. While it's meant I vanished from here, probably disappointing and pissing off a bunch of people in the process (sorry!), it's actually had an overwhelmingly positive effect in the rest of my life, since work, home life, health, friends, etc have been depression-free zones!
( some of the benefits of internet freedom! )
What does it mean going forward? I have no idea. I may still not be around for some time to come. I'd say expecting nothing from me would be a good idea. If I do come back, I probably will not be posting the way I used to. ( brief notes on status of current personal fandoms )
I'm still vidding, because vidding (the process not the fandom) is joyful. I may not show you the results though, I really don't know. I'm not very audience-oriented right now and haven't been bothered to update my BAM links though I did see that BAM went pfft.
One thing I feel I should do though is say that since I'm unlikely to be around, ANYONE is welcome to pick up the idea of 'vid chats' if they want to and run with them. This should hopefully be clear anyway--they were always free to be borrowed/adapted/done with as you will... but just in case anyone's hung back thinking I might be annoyed to be 'copied': no, man, I'd be delighted! I just probably won't be there. :) Apologies for dropping the ball--but please don't wait for or feel limited by my absence.
This may all seem very selfish. I'm sure it is. I have guilt and shame about it. I encourage you to defriend me. Really. No hurt feelings! Shoo! :) And I hope you are all as happy in your real lives, and by some lucky star in fandom too, as I am.
(Disabling comments because I'm not very interact-y these days. I assume anyone who really wants to talk to me will email or PM me, which you're still welcome to do.)
