Grrr... arrrgh

[bop_radar]

I had one hell of a fucking bad day. I could do without fandom being fucktard-ish as well.

Kate says it better than I could.

I can't help seeing in this the sort of catty politics that teach women that you shouldn't ever put yourself forward, that you should be modest and wait for other people to notice how wonderful you are. Because if you DO put yourself forward other women will tear you to shreds for your audacity. How lovely.

Comments

Re: forward other women will tear you to shreds for your audacity.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

I'm less upset now. *g*

And you are absolutely right, Ender! It IS the same phenomenon within the fandom. It's because we tear down people who put themselves forward, and yet none of us benefits from that! And you are right that a lot of people stay quiet because they fear rejection/criticism or they think they need someone else's approval first. And even I have been guilty of this! *admits* So this a good reminder to myself that it's absolutely stupid, that there's nothing wrong with saying 'hey, I made this' or other self-promotion.

Good call!

And you are absolutely right, Ender!

[ender24]

of course, i am!
i am the princess of minions, surpreme lex minion#1!
I am INFALLIBLE!!

i could write a ton more, and an entire essay here for you, BUT SOCCER GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, maybe some more other reasons:
society: women are TOLD ALL THE SHIT TIME, we have to be perfect, and at the same time , to be modest. by gazllions of mags and movies. with shitty shows like american / german /whatever next top model, including all the psychosis, those girls have.
so, perfection insanity is pretty female.

modesty doesnt go well with a competitive nature and environment:
so, and more, anytime, anyone of us is putting out our work, we are terrified, that we are getting compared with others (I read the other day on one of our mutuals friends post, a guss, why someone would not comment on fics: if you are an author, and you comment on another author, the other author *might* go and read you, and NOT comment, thus avoiding commenting alltogether is solving the fear of rejection. and comparison).

you know, the outcry anytime, there is some sort of competition or ranking list for any kind of fandom art (fics, vids, manips).
DAMN; HOW DARE YOU TO HAVE A JURY TO ELECT, WHAT KIND OF ART IS MORE WORTH or BETTER than the other ??!?! AND HOW DARE YOU TO ENTER your work to that COMPETITION! YOU ARROGANT BITCH; WE NO MORE FRIENDS!
*Murder and mayhem ensues* , because WE DO IT ALL FOR FUN!!!!and NO MONEY INVOLVED!!
PLEASE NO PRESSURE! PLS no comparison.

yaddayadda yuck. I go with my men (my entire crew of male colleagues, coz i work in a job, where 90% of any team is male) and watch soccer.
SO NOW CALL ME A MISOGYNIST !!! coz i do think, men handle the competitiveness thing much better than most women i have ever met.

Re: And you are absolutely right, Ender!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Hee. That rant was a thing of great beauty. *g*

if you are an author, and you comment on another author, the other author *might* go and read you, and NOT comment, thus avoiding commenting alltogether is solving the fear of rejection. and comparison
Wow! Yes, I can see how people could think like that. And yet... it's so very sad.

And good call on the competitions... I am not competitive at all, and I don't really *get* competition, but I definitely agree that girls in general don't cope with it nearly as well as men. I'm kind of envious of those who deal with it calmly. I aspire to that! It makes me think I should be more pro-competitions in fandom. Hmm.