Introspection
Jun. 12th, 2008 08:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bop_radarI've been in a very introspective mood recently, and among other things have been contemplating my fannish status.
It's not been an easy couple of months for me with my fandoms. Smallville Season 7 wasn't the strongest season ever, but it did have some brilliant Lex material, except now, of course, he's gone. And the news re. Season 8 has not exactly filled me with hope. I will watch Season 8, but I do feel like things are coming to an end there. The remaining aspect I'm most invested in (Clois) doesn't seem to be a big part of the writers' agenda for the season so realistically I think there will be a dimming in my enthusiasm for the show. I'm kind of ok with because it's a very gradual thing but it is hard because it was my gateway fandom and it's not the only show that's coming to a close...
BSG. Sigh. BSG has been haaaaard. I didn't even realise how high my expectations going into season 4 were until they totally failed to be fulfilled. I think I found it a lot easier to roll with the punches (or plot holes) in season 3, when there was still plenty of time for things to come good again. Now I feel like there's a ticking clock while I'm watching and a voice screaming 'they're running out of tiiiiime!'
Where my ship (Kara/Lee) is concerned, I feel completely crushed. It makes no sense whatsoever to me to play that big grand scene at the start of this season and then have them not even speak to each other on their return. I know there's a lot of other plot threads going on, but I'm talking 30 seconds. That's all it would have taken.I have a horrible feeling the writers don't feel they need to do any further storytelling about them, and that they've pressed 'pause' on the whole relationship until, say, the last 15 minutes of the final episode, when they'll suddenly throw in some tearjerky declaration of love before nuking at least one of them. (Um, yes, my cynicism is a problem.) If that happens, it will actually piss me off MORE than if they had actually ended the relationship formally for some greater plot purpose. I want character consistency, dammit, not 'shock!' moments.
I know my crankiness about this is spreading to the show as a whole, but I've also been disappointed in Lee's plot. I was so excited about his political career, but I thought it would be played with slightly more realism. One week he was the new guy, the next he was CAG of the Quorum (everyone looking to him), and then WHAM! he's President. I can't be UNhappy about that, but it could have been better (particularly Sine Qua Non).
I miss being in my emotions when I'm watching BSG. Nowadays I get thrown out of it so often, I find I'm picking holes in the eps before they're finished. I try to get back into it but... that emotional connection is missing most of the time, and it's leaving me feeling empty. My heart's not in my meta these days and I miss it.
I've been having a long hard think about what to do about this. Obviously season 4.0 is nearly over and there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm a completionist and I *do* want to see things through to the end of season 4. How could I ever give up on Lee?! :D However, I clearly need to a) lower my expectations and b) acquire some zen.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
queenofthorns has been rewatching earlier seasons and I'm thinking that this could work for me too. I am due a rewatch anyway and it might help me to either find other aspects of the show to enjoy or just revel in nostalgia for the bits I always liked.
The other zen-inspiring solution I've come up with is: VID. When in doubt, vid. Vidding creates an emotional distance even when there's not one and usually allows me to reconnect with the source in a different way. So I'm still engaged but my expectations and desires are different. I've got several BSG vid bunnies floating around my head at the moment (Paranoid Android left a big hole) but am yet to fully settle at any of them. I think I'll push myself to do so though because it will cheer me up AND keep me distracted.
This leads me to the third part of my fannish crisis/transition though. I think I'm starting to be a vidder as my primary fannish THING. I don't know whether that sounds presumptuous or obvious, but it was quite the revelation to me when it occurred to me earlier this week. It's not a reflection on the quality of my vids (just to be clear!), though I do think they're getting better--it's more about the amount of time I spend vidding versus other fannish activity these days. I started out writing meta mostly, and I don't see myself ever giving that up, but with the two main shows I write about on the wane, it's not surprising I'm feeling a little lost. But more and more I approach fandom from a vidder's perspective--I even vet potential shows on how good they might be for vidding! When I've got spare 'fandom' time, I inevitably watch vids. Or rec vids. Or beta vids. Or vid. ;)
Overall this is a positive realisation because vidding is something I can take with me beyond my current fandoms. However, thinking it through, I do have some anxiety about the fact that it's a less interactive fannish activity--or it feels that way. Vidding is a lot of solitary work. Meta, on the other hand, is a short burst of solitary work and then (when it's going well) a lot of fascinating to-ing and fro-ing with other people. So I experienced some probably-misplaced anxiety about possibly losing some of the social aspect of fandom if I retreat into my vidder's shell. I think there's a fairly easy solution there though, and that's to keep posting and commenting regularly.
I guess I'm both interested in and a little freaked out by these changes. I've been in fandom several years now and this is a new phase for me.
If I wasn't so introspective right now, here's where I'd be playing...
-svgurl is running a Lois Lane Love week and posting daily round-ups of activities. I'm looking forward to catching up on the weekend!
-latxcvi has a mega-poll on the best and worst of Smallville, which I am very curious about.
-talitha78 posted some great truths about vidding.
-daybreak777 made an AWESOME post about favourite vid moments which I totally totally want to emulate, but every time I try and narrow down my choices I go into meltdown or find that an hour has passed and I've been playing the same vid over and over again. One day! Soon...
It's not been an easy couple of months for me with my fandoms. Smallville Season 7 wasn't the strongest season ever, but it did have some brilliant Lex material, except now, of course, he's gone. And the news re. Season 8 has not exactly filled me with hope. I will watch Season 8, but I do feel like things are coming to an end there. The remaining aspect I'm most invested in (Clois) doesn't seem to be a big part of the writers' agenda for the season so realistically I think there will be a dimming in my enthusiasm for the show. I'm kind of ok with because it's a very gradual thing but it is hard because it was my gateway fandom and it's not the only show that's coming to a close...
BSG. Sigh. BSG has been haaaaard. I didn't even realise how high my expectations going into season 4 were until they totally failed to be fulfilled. I think I found it a lot easier to roll with the punches (or plot holes) in season 3, when there was still plenty of time for things to come good again. Now I feel like there's a ticking clock while I'm watching and a voice screaming 'they're running out of tiiiiime!'
Where my ship (Kara/Lee) is concerned, I feel completely crushed. It makes no sense whatsoever to me to play that big grand scene at the start of this season and then have them not even speak to each other on their return. I know there's a lot of other plot threads going on, but I'm talking 30 seconds. That's all it would have taken.I have a horrible feeling the writers don't feel they need to do any further storytelling about them, and that they've pressed 'pause' on the whole relationship until, say, the last 15 minutes of the final episode, when they'll suddenly throw in some tearjerky declaration of love before nuking at least one of them. (Um, yes, my cynicism is a problem.) If that happens, it will actually piss me off MORE than if they had actually ended the relationship formally for some greater plot purpose. I want character consistency, dammit, not 'shock!' moments.
I know my crankiness about this is spreading to the show as a whole, but I've also been disappointed in Lee's plot. I was so excited about his political career, but I thought it would be played with slightly more realism. One week he was the new guy, the next he was CAG of the Quorum (everyone looking to him), and then WHAM! he's President. I can't be UNhappy about that, but it could have been better (particularly Sine Qua Non).
I miss being in my emotions when I'm watching BSG. Nowadays I get thrown out of it so often, I find I'm picking holes in the eps before they're finished. I try to get back into it but... that emotional connection is missing most of the time, and it's leaving me feeling empty. My heart's not in my meta these days and I miss it.
I've been having a long hard think about what to do about this. Obviously season 4.0 is nearly over and there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm a completionist and I *do* want to see things through to the end of season 4. How could I ever give up on Lee?! :D However, I clearly need to a) lower my expectations and b) acquire some zen.
queenofthorns has been rewatching earlier seasons and I'm thinking that this could work for me too. I am due a rewatch anyway and it might help me to either find other aspects of the show to enjoy or just revel in nostalgia for the bits I always liked.The other zen-inspiring solution I've come up with is: VID. When in doubt, vid. Vidding creates an emotional distance even when there's not one and usually allows me to reconnect with the source in a different way. So I'm still engaged but my expectations and desires are different. I've got several BSG vid bunnies floating around my head at the moment (Paranoid Android left a big hole) but am yet to fully settle at any of them. I think I'll push myself to do so though because it will cheer me up AND keep me distracted.
This leads me to the third part of my fannish crisis/transition though. I think I'm starting to be a vidder as my primary fannish THING. I don't know whether that sounds presumptuous or obvious, but it was quite the revelation to me when it occurred to me earlier this week. It's not a reflection on the quality of my vids (just to be clear!), though I do think they're getting better--it's more about the amount of time I spend vidding versus other fannish activity these days. I started out writing meta mostly, and I don't see myself ever giving that up, but with the two main shows I write about on the wane, it's not surprising I'm feeling a little lost. But more and more I approach fandom from a vidder's perspective--I even vet potential shows on how good they might be for vidding! When I've got spare 'fandom' time, I inevitably watch vids. Or rec vids. Or beta vids. Or vid. ;)
Overall this is a positive realisation because vidding is something I can take with me beyond my current fandoms. However, thinking it through, I do have some anxiety about the fact that it's a less interactive fannish activity--or it feels that way. Vidding is a lot of solitary work. Meta, on the other hand, is a short burst of solitary work and then (when it's going well) a lot of fascinating to-ing and fro-ing with other people. So I experienced some probably-misplaced anxiety about possibly losing some of the social aspect of fandom if I retreat into my vidder's shell. I think there's a fairly easy solution there though, and that's to keep posting and commenting regularly.
I guess I'm both interested in and a little freaked out by these changes. I've been in fandom several years now and this is a new phase for me.
If I wasn't so introspective right now, here's where I'd be playing...
-
svgurl is running a Lois Lane Love week and posting daily round-ups of activities. I'm looking forward to catching up on the weekend!-
latxcvi has a mega-poll on the best and worst of Smallville, which I am very curious about.-
talitha78 posted some great truths about vidding.-
daybreak777 made an AWESOME post about favourite vid moments which I totally totally want to emulate, but every time I try and narrow down my choices I go into meltdown or find that an hour has passed and I've been playing the same vid over and over again. One day! Soon...
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 11:12 pm (UTC)I don't have a problem with Kara and Sam - I have a problem with it going no where and not making sense. And I soundly disagree with you that Kara ditched two guards, punched her boyfriend out, threw a gas grenade and pulled a gun on Roslin because she wasn't feeling violent. If Roslin tried to kill her, tee hee hee, maybe it was because the crazy bitch broke into her room and pulled a gun after returning from the dead much like a cylon does. (I'm actually not trying to be snippy, I just dislike the logic that Kutie Kara was just innocently assaulted by Mean Ros for NO REASON and MEANT NO HARM) (and I am also in a foul mood due to a completely different fandom)
To a point, I get Bill making emotional decisions, but not STUPID decisions and not in this situation. If we accept that Bill loves Laura - then Laura is over Kara in the pecking order, and traditionally Bill does not screw around with possible Cylons (I've been very unhappy with the "oh, so you're nailing the cylon prisoner, ok" attitude as well. Thats DUMB. Bill didn't used to be dumb.)
I disagree on acting but that is subjective, I agree. The problem is that it's also boring. I see nothing new presented with the secret cylons. Oh look, they angst.
It's the overall writing I have the issue with, because there's gaping plot holes and way too much complete denial (I understand your fanwanking of the hub - my point is that we didn't used to have to fanwank it, because the writing used to be tight. Now we have to come up with idiocy to explain why LOyal SHaron is still Loyal - and trust me - this is not the first MAJOR piece of info SHaron just kept to herself - Cavil being a Cylon, for one.)
I certainly still enjoy BSG - I just don't consider season 4 anywhere near the level the show used to be at, and I am not going to excuse it when I know it was possible to do better.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 11:57 pm (UTC)Oh, I dislike that logic too. Dude, I <3 Laura. She's the one character who can try to kill my TV girlfriend and incur no ill-will from me. Lee does it and I sulk for weeks. ;) Laura does it and... hey, from her POV, it makes sense. I'm just grateful her aim sucks. ;)
Anyway, that wasn't what I meant to say - just that (1) I agree Kara was violent and crazy-seeming, I just don't think she planned kill Laura, which doesn't make going all Rambo and pulling a gun on her fluffy-bunny, and (2) I can see why Adama did what he did without it being completely OOC. I also was willing to write off a lot - from both him and Lee - to the emotional impact of getting someone you love back from the dead. If anything would spin your head around, that would.
my point is that we didn't used to have to fanwank it, because the writing used to be tight.
*nods* That I do agree with. I wish Skiffy had renewed for two more 13-episode seasons instead of their current idiocy, because that's when the writing was undeniably at its best.