Temporarily homeless

[bop_radar]

I'm sitting in an empty house typing this, as we've boxed up all our possessions and piled them into the two bedrooms upstairs. The rest of the house is cleared to be renovated and I've just snapped some 'before' shots. It's been a tiring and stressful weekend trying to get it all done. I've thrown out heaps of stuff and it's been a good chance to get more organised, but wow, I have too much stuff! *boggles* And lifting washing machines, fish tanks (full of fish!) and three-seater sofas up flights of stairs is no fun. :(

The cat's being boarded for the first time in his life--I'm trying to tell myself it's less traumatic than the time I left him with my flatmate for three weeks while I went to Thailand and came back to find he'd been locked outside the whole time and was covered in fleas... but I felt awful leaving him in a cage at the cattery. The dog's luckier in that he can be shared around relatives, but I know I'll miss them.

I'm crashing at a friend's place this week--it's close to my yoga school so I can still do my morning classes and get to work easily. After that, we've got a flat in town booked for the week I have off. I'll have net access this week at work but it will be intermittent the week after so if I'm a bit quiet, that'll be why. I'm already scanning my f'list and cursing my lack of time! Of course it's also possible that I'll just spend all day in an internet cafe...

All in all, I think I'm handling the stress ok. I have to (grudgingly!) admit that lowering my caffeine and sugar intake substantially in the last couple of weeks has really helped. I did some reading on holistic medicine sites online and they confirm that caffeine and sugar have been linked to depression--the combination of them together is particularly bad for depression (insert complicated brain chemistry explanation). I still don't feel great, but my anxiety's been reduced substantially--I've been almost zenlike about some things that would normally get me very very jittery. I get my test results back from the doc this week, so I'll be interested to see what he suggests from there.

A quick note on yoga: after switching to morning classes, I've not missed a class in my six-week (twice weekly) course. The teacher suggested to many of us that we repeat this level and mentioned she's been taking us at a slower, more traditional pace that she thinks is working well for us. It certainly feels good for me, as I'm definitely still challenged by my lack of upper body strength. Having said that, my arms have toned up noticeably. and I am getting better at my vinyasa though it's definitely still a strain. I've made progress in other stances too though and I'm excited to see how far I get in another six weeks.

The bad news? I checked my weight for the first time in weeks yesterday and I've put back on the three kilos I lost earlier this year. *jumps up and down and stabs things* Arrrrggghhh?!! How?! I fit into a smaller dress size! My legs and arms are more toned! Why the frak am I still classed as 'overweight'?! *kills the BMI* I can wank some of the weight gain as muscle, but surely not all of it. :( So I guess after I move back in I'll have to go on another mission to return to the 'healthy' weight range... :( ... I was there so briefly! If I could just lop my breasts off, I'd be FINE. *pouts*

Several of my LJ friends are having a really tough time right now, so I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best for all of you. *hugs*

Comments

[becisvolatile.livejournal.com]

On the "OMFG I put on weight!" note. Seriously? If you've noticed muscle mass increase? You have to consider if you've put on three kilos of fat or muscle. Any hike in exercise, particularly something geared towards muscle development, is probably going to make you put on a little weight. Maybe if you do another six weeks, take your measurements at the beginning and take them again at the end of the six weeks. Centimetres and not kilos are the best indicator of health.

Although I do get the frustration. Because I've spent many days yelling at the mirror, "Muscle? Yeah, where the fuck is it??? I don't have two more kilos of muscle!!! I just have a seconds arse!!!"

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Maybe if you do another six weeks, take your measurements at the beginning and take them again at the end of the six weeks.
Yeah, that's a really good idea. Pity I just packed my tape measure away... ;) No, seriously, it IS good advice and I am trying to tell myself that some of it is muscle weight. Given that my legs are noticeably stronger and my arms/shoulders have rounded a bit, that seems plausible. But thanks for the sympathy. That is EXACTLY what it's like! Especially as these changes are so incremental you can kid yourself you're just imagining them.

[becisvolatile.livejournal.com]

Isn't it terrible reflection on our world when a woman can look at herself and *think* something looks better... but she can't admit it because what if it's all in her head?

I was at work the other day and a client came up and whispered to me "My bums smaller!" she had to whisper though, because apparently her husband makes fun of her for being so obsessed.

Personally, if you know that you can hold yourself taller, with a better posture, or even take your weight more securely in a position... I think it's cause to celebrate and be proud. That's evidence enough that you're doing somehting right. You don't need to magically drop three sizes to know you're getting there.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

but she can't admit it because what if it's all in her head?
*nods* That really is a terrible indictment.

she had to whisper though, because apparently her husband makes fun of her for being so obsessed.
Awww, that's so cute! And yeah, I know the feeling. My boy doesn't understand my body image concerns at ALL. It's nice in one way because he says he 'likes my curves', but on the other hand he doesn't get it when I get frustrated with efforts to lose weight.

if you know that you can hold yourself taller, with a better posture, or even take your weight more securely in a position... I think it's cause to celebrate and be proud.
:D I can tell you're a very good teacher because that's a very comforting, supportive thought. And I do feel I'm getting there and I'm pretty sure my posture is improving. I've just got to keep going. And after class this morning, I'm feeling great. I am LOVING morning classes! hee!

[skuf.livejournal.com]

If you fit into a smaller dress size, it sounds like muscle weight!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Well I was between a 12 and 14 before and I'm comfortably a 12 now--my 14s are big on me. So yeah, hope so! :) Either way, I've just got to keep going, do what exercise I can in these disrupted two weeks and then get back into it seriously after holidays.

[norwich36.livejournal.com]

It sounds to me like muscle weight, too, especially if you are actually a smaller clothing size.And yay for being so good in attending the early yoga class!

You had to move all your belongings out of the downstairs? Yeah, I just reiterate what I said last night about the rent. Good grief, how disruptive.

Good luck surviving the displacement!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thanks for the sympathy! Yeah, I underestimated how disruptive it would really be. Trust me, we're going to be pretty insistent on getting things the way we want it and if there's anything not completed by the time we get back, we won't be signing on to the higher rent until it's complete.

It is hard though, as with the current market climate they could pretty much have asked for the new rent without doing anything--and they would have got it if we'd moved out. Things are so bad here.

[bradcpu.livejournal.com]

At least all the boxing of stuff is done. That has to be a load off your mind, eh? It's always so stressful moving.

I envy you and your commitment to your body. I've pretty much resigned to let mine waste away. :P

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Yup, load off my mind for sure. :) I was so tired yesterday but now I feel more 'free'. I'm not even THINKING about having to move it all back downstairs again...

I envy you and your commitment to your body
Hee! Thanks. It's more like being dragged to it kicking and screaming by necessity... but still. :) And hey, what are you doing around online?! Isn't it your birthday? Aren't you taking a break?!

[bradcpu.livejournal.com]

Aren't you taking a break?!
Heh. That's where the "sort of" comes in. As in "I can 'sort of' resist the temptation of the big, shiny internet browser button." But, yep, I'm breaking and vidding and all sorts of neat stuff. :)

Glad to hear you're feeling better over there.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

As in "I can 'sort of' resist the temptation of the big, shiny internet browser button.
Hee! I understand. I thought I'd be without net this week but I just picked up someone's wireless... *g* And now I'm helpless to the browsing...

I'm breaking and vidding
:D Happy to hear it!

[indigo419.livejournal.com]

Hurray for you and your yoga!! (You know that Katee is a yoga devotee, yes?) I imagine the yoga is a huge help for dealing with the stress. I have been slack about making it to my class, myself - I wish we had the twice weekly setup, that would be a better fit for me, I think.

Sorry about the move - and poor cat! OTOH it must be satisfying to clear out some things that you no longer need.

Hope all goes smoothly with the renovation so you can soon return to your normals digs (and please, no lopping off of body parts!). *hugs*

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

You know that Katee is a yoga devotee, yes?
Yesss. I marvel to think how awesome she would look doing it be at it. :D It really is brilliant for aligning one's body and strengthening naturally. And I think twice-weekly classes are a real plus--I notice way faster improvement this way which keeps me motivated. I'm sorry you don't have that. :(

OTOH it must be satisfying to clear out some things that you no longer need.
True! It definitely is. I feel 'lighter'. I even halved the contents of my filing cabinet and my car is now loaded up with things for the Salvos and things to give away/sell.

please, no lopping off of body parts!
Ohhh, alllrriiiiight. *groans* :-p I just get cranky because they get in the way of exercise so much. I seriously, seriously understand why the Amazons did away with them.

*hugs*

[dianora2.livejournal.com]

Muscle weighs more than fat, so it's probably muscle weight. :) Sounds like you're looking pretty rockin' to me! It's great that you're sticking with the yoga so diligently. Hope the home situation works out in the least possible stressful way.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Heee! Icon! :) So appropriate and I didn't even think of it. *matches* Though, lord, I've got a long way to go to match Jamie's arms...

Thank you! :)

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

You are taking such good care of yourself in the midst of so many events. Moving alone always drives me bonkers. And you went down a dress size and got toned! Kudos!

And kill the BMI (and the scale), but keep the breasts. They can be rather useful later. I’m thinking of for breastfeeding but not only that. ;-)

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Heee! Thanks, Daybreak! :) I guess you're right. *g* The BMI is EVOL. *nods*

[the-rejection.livejournal.com]

Clearly the BMI is lying. *wink* Don't worry though, if you keep going you'll slim down enough to fit within the "healthy" range. You're probably burning fat in addition to building muscle, but it's not showing on the scale - the measuring tape would be the way I'd go, but trust your clothes and your yoga.

I love that you use frak as a curse word.

[the-rejection.livejournal.com]

Oh! And I forgot. Women are prone to weight fluctuations due to menstruation and hormones, so it may be that as well as water weight.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for those encouraging words. True enough, but I'm not premenstrual right now so I can't blame bloating this time. ;)

And yes, I'm very fond of 'frak'. It comes so much more naturally to me than the alternative. :D

[vegas-nolan.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain with the weight loss (or lack thereof). I've been on a diet for almost two months now and I'm stuck. My stupid body, however, just wants some fried chicken. Last week I had a dream about eating four doughnuts. I really did.

If you ever want to donate some breast to me, send me an email over LJ. I've got plenty of tan to trade, if you're interested. ;)

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Eeep! A dream about doughnuts?! *quakes* That would be hard to resist! I remember when I was about two months into my diet I was really really cranky because I had only lost one kilo. But someone told me it takes a while for your metabolism to really get started, and sure enough, a couple of weeks later the weight was coming off waay easier. Hang in there! :)

I've got plenty of tan to trade, if you're interested. ;)
Ohh... yes! Not a bad idea! I'm very pale and sickly looking. ;)

[bzoppa.livejournal.com]

and they confirm that caffeine and sugar have been linked to depression--the combination of them together is particularly bad for depression

Huh. I cut out caffeine for a while because I "know" it's unhealthy for me, but I found it very difficult to get motivated to do anything. I was hoping that not drinking any would get easier but I never got the same energy I get from caffeine. In the interest of somehow salvaging my job, I've gone back to caffeine. (And I really didn't drink it for like a year. Maybe longer.)

My mom suggested boarding my kitty for my move. I told her no way, I'll just stick her in the bathroom while they pack up the stuff, pop her in the carrier and take a cab up to the new place. She'll be pissed but she'll deal.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Wow, it's kind of horrible that you've had to go back to caffeine. That kind of lack of energy sounds like an underlying nutritional deficiency or hormonal imbalance or something... that's what I'm getting tested out for at the moment. Mind you, it's taken me years to find a doctor who's willing to put in the time and effort to investigate it properly. But maybe you could check it out? It's not right for your body to need an artificial stimulant to get moving.

As for the kitty, yes, minimising the stress on him is a good idea. I've always managed to go without boarding him anywhere before. But there's no way he'd survive two weeks of living at an empty house while workman crash and bang around him. :( Poor kitlet!

[lunar47.livejournal.com]

wow, things are moving fast. But you seem really on top of it all so good job and I'm proud of you. On the effexor front, I haven't taken any in 3 days now and while I still feel the withdrawl effects, they are getting less severe each day. So Yay!!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And YAY!! \o/ I'm about at the same stage except with caffeine. LOL. I've gone several full days without it now, and I still feel the withdrawal, but it's lessening.