Fanvid: Some Time Around Midnight

[bop_radar]

Song: Some Time Around Midnight
Artist: The Airborne Toxic Event
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Summary: Lee knows that Kara will break him in two.
Thanks: To m_a_r_i_k_s for betaing and for sharing the difficult emotional journey with this vid and engaging with it more than I could ever hope anyone would, to supacat for not getting it at first... but then getting goosebumps, and to kuwdora for enthusiastic support and keeping me sane when I drifted from reality on occasion.

This one broke ME in two.

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Comments

[siljamus]

I don't think I shied away from the destructive nature of their relationship so if that's part of what you saw then that was deliberate.

You most certainly didn't, which is one thing that I find very compelling about the vid and the very tight Lee POV you keep all the way through (and you do it so well technically as well).

what I was wanting in part to explore here was the pain of being caught in a love that overwhelms you and destroys you and breaks you

Mission accomplished! This is also where I realise again that I can no longer connect with the narrative of BSG on a purely "story" level. These days it's always about the SHOW and how I feel about that. Watching the vid was the first time in months or rather years that I've been able to connect with Lee inside of his story in canon instead of looking at it from the outside with an analytical distance.

I think some of what I have trouble articulating is how pointless I find a lot of the destructive behaviour from a narrative point of view. It didn't go anywhere nor have any pay off; it just got worse and worse to the point of being almost pointless, if that makes sense. And that was something I needed to "hear" from someone else, someone who sees Lee in a way similar to the way I used to, someone who's POV I could connect with through shared experiences.

(I'm pretty sure I'm not making much sense, so here, have a pretty Lee icon instead *g* And you made an exceptional vid, Boppy, both on a technical level and on an emotional one.)

[bop_radar]

This totally makes sense to me!

These days it's always about the SHOW and how I feel about that. Watching the vid was the first time in months or rather years that I've been able to connect with Lee inside of his story in canon instead of looking at it from the outside with an analytical distance.
Yes, 100%. It was very sad for me to lose that intra-show experience but season 4 well and truly flung me out into analytical/critical mindset and I think I had a lot of grief about losing that connection with Lee. Perhaps then you can understand both my drive to reaffirm that that connection was/is something that is/was very alive and real to me, despite the grotesquerie that BSG became, and also how difficult it was to climb back 'into' the story. I'm still 'coming down' from the experience, and it was a very difficult one emotionally, but as the dust settles I am increasingly feeling it was worth it and feel like it helped me reclaim something from the show while at the same time acknowledging the ugliness.

And yes, I hear you on the pointlessness of the destruction narrative-wise. Ultimately RDM couldn't or didn't want to control his narrative and that's tragic considering what powerful material he had. It's been hard for me to deal with the love I had for BSG and Lee despite that. And I know you're someone that gets that. Talking to people like you about it helps it feel a little more normal to feel this way.