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Introspection
I've been in a very introspective mood recently, and among other things have been contemplating my fannish status.
It's not been an easy couple of months for me with my fandoms. Smallville Season 7 wasn't the strongest season ever, but it did have some brilliant Lex material, except now, of course, he's gone. And the news re. Season 8 has not exactly filled me with hope. I will watch Season 8, but I do feel like things are coming to an end there. The remaining aspect I'm most invested in (Clois) doesn't seem to be a big part of the writers' agenda for the season so realistically I think there will be a dimming in my enthusiasm for the show. I'm kind of ok with because it's a very gradual thing but it is hard because it was my gateway fandom and it's not the only show that's coming to a close...
BSG. Sigh. BSG has been haaaaard. I didn't even realise how high my expectations going into season 4 were until they totally failed to be fulfilled. I think I found it a lot easier to roll with the punches (or plot holes) in season 3, when there was still plenty of time for things to come good again. Now I feel like there's a ticking clock while I'm watching and a voice screaming 'they're running out of tiiiiime!'
Where my ship (Kara/Lee) is concerned, I feel completely crushed. It makes no sense whatsoever to me to play that big grand scene at the start of this season and then have them not even speak to each other on their return. I know there's a lot of other plot threads going on, but I'm talking 30 seconds. That's all it would have taken.I have a horrible feeling the writers don't feel they need to do any further storytelling about them, and that they've pressed 'pause' on the whole relationship until, say, the last 15 minutes of the final episode, when they'll suddenly throw in some tearjerky declaration of love before nuking at least one of them. (Um, yes, my cynicism is a problem.) If that happens, it will actually piss me off MORE than if they had actually ended the relationship formally for some greater plot purpose. I want character consistency, dammit, not 'shock!' moments.
I know my crankiness about this is spreading to the show as a whole, but I've also been disappointed in Lee's plot. I was so excited about his political career, but I thought it would be played with slightly more realism. One week he was the new guy, the next he was CAG of the Quorum (everyone looking to him), and then WHAM! he's President. I can't be UNhappy about that, but it could have been better (particularly Sine Qua Non).
I miss being in my emotions when I'm watching BSG. Nowadays I get thrown out of it so often, I find I'm picking holes in the eps before they're finished. I try to get back into it but... that emotional connection is missing most of the time, and it's leaving me feeling empty. My heart's not in my meta these days and I miss it.
I've been having a long hard think about what to do about this. Obviously season 4.0 is nearly over and there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm a completionist and I *do* want to see things through to the end of season 4. How could I ever give up on Lee?! :D However, I clearly need to a) lower my expectations and b) acquire some zen.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
queenofthorns has been rewatching earlier seasons and I'm thinking that this could work for me too. I am due a rewatch anyway and it might help me to either find other aspects of the show to enjoy or just revel in nostalgia for the bits I always liked.
The other zen-inspiring solution I've come up with is: VID. When in doubt, vid. Vidding creates an emotional distance even when there's not one and usually allows me to reconnect with the source in a different way. So I'm still engaged but my expectations and desires are different. I've got several BSG vid bunnies floating around my head at the moment (Paranoid Android left a big hole) but am yet to fully settle at any of them. I think I'll push myself to do so though because it will cheer me up AND keep me distracted.
This leads me to the third part of my fannish crisis/transition though. I think I'm starting to be a vidder as my primary fannish THING. I don't know whether that sounds presumptuous or obvious, but it was quite the revelation to me when it occurred to me earlier this week. It's not a reflection on the quality of my vids (just to be clear!), though I do think they're getting better--it's more about the amount of time I spend vidding versus other fannish activity these days. I started out writing meta mostly, and I don't see myself ever giving that up, but with the two main shows I write about on the wane, it's not surprising I'm feeling a little lost. But more and more I approach fandom from a vidder's perspective--I even vet potential shows on how good they might be for vidding! When I've got spare 'fandom' time, I inevitably watch vids. Or rec vids. Or beta vids. Or vid. ;)
Overall this is a positive realisation because vidding is something I can take with me beyond my current fandoms. However, thinking it through, I do have some anxiety about the fact that it's a less interactive fannish activity--or it feels that way. Vidding is a lot of solitary work. Meta, on the other hand, is a short burst of solitary work and then (when it's going well) a lot of fascinating to-ing and fro-ing with other people. So I experienced some probably-misplaced anxiety about possibly losing some of the social aspect of fandom if I retreat into my vidder's shell. I think there's a fairly easy solution there though, and that's to keep posting and commenting regularly.
I guess I'm both interested in and a little freaked out by these changes. I've been in fandom several years now and this is a new phase for me.
If I wasn't so introspective right now, here's where I'd be playing...
-svgurl is running a Lois Lane Love week and posting daily round-ups of activities. I'm looking forward to catching up on the weekend!
-latxcvi has a mega-poll on the best and worst of Smallville, which I am very curious about.
-talitha78 posted some great truths about vidding.
-daybreak777 made an AWESOME post about favourite vid moments which I totally totally want to emulate, but every time I try and narrow down my choices I go into meltdown or find that an hour has passed and I've been playing the same vid over and over again. One day! Soon...
It's not been an easy couple of months for me with my fandoms. Smallville Season 7 wasn't the strongest season ever, but it did have some brilliant Lex material, except now, of course, he's gone. And the news re. Season 8 has not exactly filled me with hope. I will watch Season 8, but I do feel like things are coming to an end there. The remaining aspect I'm most invested in (Clois) doesn't seem to be a big part of the writers' agenda for the season so realistically I think there will be a dimming in my enthusiasm for the show. I'm kind of ok with because it's a very gradual thing but it is hard because it was my gateway fandom and it's not the only show that's coming to a close...
BSG. Sigh. BSG has been haaaaard. I didn't even realise how high my expectations going into season 4 were until they totally failed to be fulfilled. I think I found it a lot easier to roll with the punches (or plot holes) in season 3, when there was still plenty of time for things to come good again. Now I feel like there's a ticking clock while I'm watching and a voice screaming 'they're running out of tiiiiime!'
Where my ship (Kara/Lee) is concerned, I feel completely crushed. It makes no sense whatsoever to me to play that big grand scene at the start of this season and then have them not even speak to each other on their return. I know there's a lot of other plot threads going on, but I'm talking 30 seconds. That's all it would have taken.I have a horrible feeling the writers don't feel they need to do any further storytelling about them, and that they've pressed 'pause' on the whole relationship until, say, the last 15 minutes of the final episode, when they'll suddenly throw in some tearjerky declaration of love before nuking at least one of them. (Um, yes, my cynicism is a problem.) If that happens, it will actually piss me off MORE than if they had actually ended the relationship formally for some greater plot purpose. I want character consistency, dammit, not 'shock!' moments.
I know my crankiness about this is spreading to the show as a whole, but I've also been disappointed in Lee's plot. I was so excited about his political career, but I thought it would be played with slightly more realism. One week he was the new guy, the next he was CAG of the Quorum (everyone looking to him), and then WHAM! he's President. I can't be UNhappy about that, but it could have been better (particularly Sine Qua Non).
I miss being in my emotions when I'm watching BSG. Nowadays I get thrown out of it so often, I find I'm picking holes in the eps before they're finished. I try to get back into it but... that emotional connection is missing most of the time, and it's leaving me feeling empty. My heart's not in my meta these days and I miss it.
I've been having a long hard think about what to do about this. Obviously season 4.0 is nearly over and there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm a completionist and I *do* want to see things through to the end of season 4. How could I ever give up on Lee?! :D However, I clearly need to a) lower my expectations and b) acquire some zen.
queenofthorns has been rewatching earlier seasons and I'm thinking that this could work for me too. I am due a rewatch anyway and it might help me to either find other aspects of the show to enjoy or just revel in nostalgia for the bits I always liked.The other zen-inspiring solution I've come up with is: VID. When in doubt, vid. Vidding creates an emotional distance even when there's not one and usually allows me to reconnect with the source in a different way. So I'm still engaged but my expectations and desires are different. I've got several BSG vid bunnies floating around my head at the moment (Paranoid Android left a big hole) but am yet to fully settle at any of them. I think I'll push myself to do so though because it will cheer me up AND keep me distracted.
This leads me to the third part of my fannish crisis/transition though. I think I'm starting to be a vidder as my primary fannish THING. I don't know whether that sounds presumptuous or obvious, but it was quite the revelation to me when it occurred to me earlier this week. It's not a reflection on the quality of my vids (just to be clear!), though I do think they're getting better--it's more about the amount of time I spend vidding versus other fannish activity these days. I started out writing meta mostly, and I don't see myself ever giving that up, but with the two main shows I write about on the wane, it's not surprising I'm feeling a little lost. But more and more I approach fandom from a vidder's perspective--I even vet potential shows on how good they might be for vidding! When I've got spare 'fandom' time, I inevitably watch vids. Or rec vids. Or beta vids. Or vid. ;)
Overall this is a positive realisation because vidding is something I can take with me beyond my current fandoms. However, thinking it through, I do have some anxiety about the fact that it's a less interactive fannish activity--or it feels that way. Vidding is a lot of solitary work. Meta, on the other hand, is a short burst of solitary work and then (when it's going well) a lot of fascinating to-ing and fro-ing with other people. So I experienced some probably-misplaced anxiety about possibly losing some of the social aspect of fandom if I retreat into my vidder's shell. I think there's a fairly easy solution there though, and that's to keep posting and commenting regularly.
I guess I'm both interested in and a little freaked out by these changes. I've been in fandom several years now and this is a new phase for me.
If I wasn't so introspective right now, here's where I'd be playing...
-
svgurl is running a Lois Lane Love week and posting daily round-ups of activities. I'm looking forward to catching up on the weekend!-
latxcvi has a mega-poll on the best and worst of Smallville, which I am very curious about.-
talitha78 posted some great truths about vidding.-
daybreak777 made an AWESOME post about favourite vid moments which I totally totally want to emulate, but every time I try and narrow down my choices I go into meltdown or find that an hour has passed and I've been playing the same vid over and over again. One day! Soon...
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That said, I'm sorry but the BSG of season 1 and 2? Was a hell of a lot tighter plot wise, and I didn't need to call "Shenannigans!" on it every ten effing seconds. And I am definetely getting the vibe that pushing out the *ideas* that the producers/writers want to explore is being done at the expense of the show's *characters*.
I won't say people are *wildly* out of character, but from the first episode of the season, things have been tweaked to allow certain exciting and yet essentially pointless things to happen. Kara trying to assasinate Roslin for example. Would Kara really do that? Maybe. Would Bill - who "can't live without laura" - cheerfully hand Kara a ship to play with? No...not really. Would he protect Kara from being killed as a Cylon? Yup. Let try to off the president and get a whole other bunch of people killed? No.
And in order to reduce the threat of the Cylons, a threat that was never strongly established in fact to begin with, we just start making up shit. The hub. The hub that no one ever spoke of, not even Sharon "I'm on your side" Agathon, that is every science fiction cliche. Oh, and then we focus the secret cylon story line (and retell the secret cylon storyline) on four characters that are dislikable as humans, and three of whom are played by the actors on the cast with the least ability and talent. (Look Trucco is pretty but staring vacantly is not acting sad)....
I have been disappointed and I am not afraid to be labeled as some ranty "early adopter fangirl" because I am not cooing every time Kara snarls and kissing cutie pie Sam.
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I do have a more positive spin on some of the stuff you mentioned. IMO, Kara didn't try to kill Roslin - she handed her the gun right away and I think she always had every intention of doing that. Actually, Roslin tried to kill her. ;) And I think if she had shot Roslin or even tried to, things would have gone very differently with Bill. I think he gave her the ship because he was convinced she would die otherwise and he couldn't bear to lose her again, as he said - it was an emotional decision. Which, I gotta say, I find in character. ;)
As for Sharon - yeah, the writers totally pulled the Hub out of thin air, but I can buy that she wouldn't give that up. Since Cylons can't resurrect it's tantamount to genocide, and she was willing to do that when she was ordered to but I can see why she wouldn't suggest it, you know? Though, a line or two to that effect would have been nice! I know this is fanwanking, I just don't see it as all that out there.
The acting stuff is so subjective; I actually think Aaron Douglas is one of the better actors at least outside the top 5, and Trucco and Sharma are fine, to me. But, I've met people who don't think Mary McDonnell is any good, so...
But, you know, back in the old days if I'd been in Buffy fandom I'd probably have shunned anyone who didn't think season seven sucked, so, I'm not on a high-horse here! I think I'm the type who's willing to fanwank if I'm mostly enjoying the show, and I can completely understand why others aren't.
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I don't have a problem with Kara and Sam - I have a problem with it going no where and not making sense. And I soundly disagree with you that Kara ditched two guards, punched her boyfriend out, threw a gas grenade and pulled a gun on Roslin because she wasn't feeling violent. If Roslin tried to kill her, tee hee hee, maybe it was because the crazy bitch broke into her room and pulled a gun after returning from the dead much like a cylon does. (I'm actually not trying to be snippy, I just dislike the logic that Kutie Kara was just innocently assaulted by Mean Ros for NO REASON and MEANT NO HARM) (and I am also in a foul mood due to a completely different fandom)
To a point, I get Bill making emotional decisions, but not STUPID decisions and not in this situation. If we accept that Bill loves Laura - then Laura is over Kara in the pecking order, and traditionally Bill does not screw around with possible Cylons (I've been very unhappy with the "oh, so you're nailing the cylon prisoner, ok" attitude as well. Thats DUMB. Bill didn't used to be dumb.)
I disagree on acting but that is subjective, I agree. The problem is that it's also boring. I see nothing new presented with the secret cylons. Oh look, they angst.
It's the overall writing I have the issue with, because there's gaping plot holes and way too much complete denial (I understand your fanwanking of the hub - my point is that we didn't used to have to fanwank it, because the writing used to be tight. Now we have to come up with idiocy to explain why LOyal SHaron is still Loyal - and trust me - this is not the first MAJOR piece of info SHaron just kept to herself - Cavil being a Cylon, for one.)
I certainly still enjoy BSG - I just don't consider season 4 anywhere near the level the show used to be at, and I am not going to excuse it when I know it was possible to do better.
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Oh, I dislike that logic too. Dude, I <3 Laura. She's the one character who can try to kill my TV girlfriend and incur no ill-will from me. Lee does it and I sulk for weeks. ;) Laura does it and... hey, from her POV, it makes sense. I'm just grateful her aim sucks. ;)
Anyway, that wasn't what I meant to say - just that (1) I agree Kara was violent and crazy-seeming, I just don't think she planned kill Laura, which doesn't make going all Rambo and pulling a gun on her fluffy-bunny, and (2) I can see why Adama did what he did without it being completely OOC. I also was willing to write off a lot - from both him and Lee - to the emotional impact of getting someone you love back from the dead. If anything would spin your head around, that would.
my point is that we didn't used to have to fanwank it, because the writing used to be tight.
*nods* That I do agree with. I wish Skiffy had renewed for two more 13-episode seasons instead of their current idiocy, because that's when the writing was undeniably at its best.
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Thats awful. He seemed like a really nice guy.
He and the tall older boy fixed cars together and were very close. To the fanpoodles, Jeremy the tall older boy, can do no wrong. SO the obit comes out, and it references Mike's actual family (he had children of his own) and the Roloff family (the little people family on the show) and the fanpoodles are affronted! That Jeremy was not mentioned in the obit. Posting violence ensued
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Yet I have not been able to step away :/
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Hmm, that's interesting, because my own perspective is different. I'm a bit of a sucker for the tragic and fucked up but I do like to be given glimmers of hope. There hasn't been enough moments of 'light' in season 4 for me either. Even though I was totally braced for the worst. It's actually felt anti-climactic to me: I thought one of the big characters would have been dead by now. But on the other hand we've had lots of wallowing around in icky things I'd never expected like Baltar-Tory sex...
the BSG of season 1 and 2? Was a hell of a lot tighter plot wise, and I didn't need to call "Shenannigans!" on it every ten effing seconds
Absolutely. I'm honest enough to admit that if the show was giving me more of what I wanted then I'd probably be accepting it without too much complaining (I'm big on the 'take what you can get' philosophy) but there would still be no getting around that truth. The show was SO tight early on.
And I too have issues with characters being OOC this season but I wouldn't have necessarily mentioned those specific moments. I felt Kara had a strong reason to be acting the way she did. And Adama's always been a big nincompoop in my opinion, so while I found him giving Kara a ship and half his crew RIDICULOUS, I found it only slightly more ridiculous than some of the shit he's pulled in other seasons. ;)
and then we focus the secret cylon story line (and retell the secret cylon storyline) on four characters that are dislikable as humans, and three of whom are played by the actors on the cast with the least ability and talent. (Look Trucco is pretty but staring vacantly is not acting sad)....
Heee. Yes. I feel the same way. It's totally subjective because I have friends who, for instance, really like Tory, but she plays as a very wooden actress to me. However they get heaps out of her performance so I guess it's there if the actress pings with you. I can only assume it's the same with Sam, but Trucco is not a strong actor in my eyes. I'd rate him above Tory (don't even remember the actress's name) but not much. And the Secret Cylons bore me senseless, as you know. ;)
I am not afraid to be labeled as some ranty "early adopter fangirl"
Heee. You know that whole fannish cycle thing? Where in Season 4 the early adopters crack the shits because their expectations are not being fulfilled? *raises hand* Yup, that's totally me! (Except I adopted mid-S2 so it's not strictly accurate.) I can't fight what I am.
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I think we're similar actually, in wanting the glimmers of hope. When I say happy ending, I don't expect everyone to be super happy married having babies and cheerfully playing xbox. I mean, hope is restored, humanity will carry on, despite the horrific losses, and maybe everyone will have learned a thing or two. Right now I really think we're gonna get a mindfuck ending.
I agree and don't agree about Kara, and this might be more a portrayal issue. I agree she had reason to be upset, but I disagree that she was so upset that she was completely unrational, so panicked that she just lost it. Kara was VERY collected despite the cylon accusations, and seemed to simply disregard the entire suspicion as ridiculous and she's smart enough to know it isn't ridiculous. Was she nuts? Yeah, but not nuts enough that I think she had NO control. Bill has done DUMB things but giving a ship to Kara went beyond "brain cramp you'll regret" to "SO FUCKING STUPID SHE"S CRAZY AND THE CREW THINKS SHE'S A CYLON AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT HER IN CHARGE TO FOLLOW HER HUNCH!!!!" - thats where I got mad at the writing, to start with, because really? Bill had plenty of ways to indulge Kara that didn't include setting his people up for death due to her judgement. And lets not forget, people died. And there's been no payoff.
The secret cylons... I could forgive the acting if something intertesting was happening but really, it's not new. And worse, it's about two characters who just.... are bit characters. I'm sorry... who CARES that Tory - who is only on the show because the actor playing Billy quit - and who never had a story line or diologue until season four - is a Cylon? Who cares that Sam - who's entire purpose has basically been to look pretty with Kara - is a Cylon?
The labels piss me off because I honestly think "noob" and "early adopter" are just a way to dismiss someone's opinion. I may not agree with Allie, for example, but that doesn't mean I get to bitch that she wasn't here for the miniseries. Her opinion isn't less valid, you know?
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Same and same. *nods*
Kara was VERY collected despite the cylon accusations, and seemed to simply disregard the entire suspicion as ridiculous and she's smart enough to know it isn't ridiculous. Was she nuts? Yeah, but not nuts enough that I think she had NO control
No, I agree! Through the first four or so eps I thought she was solidly in character despite her return from the dead. She was just under immense pressure. And yeah, good call that she's smart enough to know it's NOT nuts.
thats where I got mad at the writing, to start with, because really? Bill had plenty of ways to indulge Kara that didn't include setting his people up for death due to her judgement. And lets not forget, people died. And there's been no payoff.
*nods* I also have rage about Bill hedging his bets the way he did. Paying lipservice to Laura but giving Kara a ship anyway. He always wants to have his cake and eat it too! And annoyingly they usually write it so that he DOES. It was so obvious that they had him give her a ship because it suited the writers' agenda and not because it made character sense. It's one of Ron's stupider 'oh I thought the audience would roll with it' moments. And yeah, the lack of payoff makes it particularly galling. Gaeta lost his leg! :(((
And worse, it's about two characters who just.... are bit characters
Yup. They need to be doing something REALLY interesting and worthwhile with their stories to get past that obstacle. We know neither actor or character was planned, we know they weren't intended as Cylons to begin with, we're not that invested in them... yet the writers are playing it to us as if we REALLY CARE. And yes, I know there are hoardes of Sam fans out there, but I feel they've even dropped the ball on Sam's plot. I thought they were going to use him to explore the human perspective of finding out you're a Cylon, but he went back to playing support-guy-and-convenient-sex-object to Kara almost instantly. So they're not even making the most of what they COULD do with them.
The labels piss me off because I honestly think "noob" and "early adopter" are just a way to dismiss someone's opinion. I may not agree with Allie, for example, but that doesn't mean I get to bitch that she wasn't here for the miniseries. Her opinion isn't less valid, you know?
Yup, I do know and agree that labels are always problematic. Even when they start out complementary, they so quickly become shorthand for particular stereotypes.
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This is what I mean by OOC. If she's smart enough to know it's not a crazy thing to think that the chick who came back from the dead might be a cylon, then why is part of her problem the rage of "How dare anyone not trust me???". She isn't dumb. She also wasn't hysterical enough to completely disregard this and that she was so nasty and affronted didn't ring true to me at all.
It was so obvious that they had him give her a ship because it suited the writers' agenda and not because it made character sense. It's one of Ron's stupider 'oh I thought the audience would roll with it' moments. And yeah, the lack of payoff makes it particularly galling. Gaeta lost his leg! :(((
It was also a great big timewaster, which irks me even more. Guess what - we didn't need any of this plot to get us to this point (and I include Gaeta actually getting a story - it ALL could have been cut). There was absolutely no need to drag out the demetrious storyline. Guess what? They find a heavy raider two days into the search. Kara lets the CYlon on board. SHe wants to take the Demetrious - Helo who is in charge says NO, but allows her and a crew to head to the basestar in a raptor. Helo goes with, and sharon and sam. Gaeta takes the Deme bac and reports the scary ass plan.
Then the basestar stuff happens. They jump back to the fleet and stand down. All in ONE FREAKING exciting episode! Without a completely gratuitious couple of killings and maimings. (Maybe Barolay needs to die to make the cylon stuff but Gunny Mathias and Gaeta shoulda been fine) Except that we needed to fill five episodes so Kara treating everyone like garbage and a lot of dumb deaths got added in. I would give up Awesome Gaeta scenes if the plot moved faster. (My dislike of Gaeta losing hsi leg is that it was purely a chain yank, it marginalizes an actor who is a LOT better than Trucco or SHarma, and it sets Gaeta up to devolve into a really bitter, angry character and snce thats EVERY Other CHARACTER on bsg, I don't need it)
Trucco as an actor annoys me - I can admit that. Sam as a character was one I liked until the endless CYlon angst and then I got bored because ultimately it will end badly.
Point - I assume that the only people who survive to the final episode are main cast, but I am going to be really annoyed if we have to sit thru secondary redshirt death of the week until the final episode. The show used to be more daring. There was a point where I would believe that Roslin would let Baltar die. But Kara marysued her way back to life (with, after all is said and done, no consequences at all) and guess what? Bill, Lee, Kara, Baltar and SHaron/Six will all be standing in the final episode NO MATTER WHAT. And I would not be shocked to see Roslin there as well.
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Ok, sorry: I'd assumed your complaint was that she was overly emotionally demonstrative, which was complained about a lot at the time. I think your point has a lot more validity and I found the writing clumsy too.
All in ONE FREAKING exciting episode! Without a completely gratuitious couple of killings and maimings.
That would have been sooooo much better. Sigh. You're so right. All completely unnecessary and gratuitous.
My dislike of Gaeta losing hsi leg is that it was purely a chain yank, it marginalizes an actor who is a LOT better than Trucco or SHarma, and it sets Gaeta up to devolve into a really bitter, angry character and snce thats EVERY Other CHARACTER on bsg, I don't need it
WORD, WORD, WORD!
Sam as a character was one I liked until the endless CYlon angst and then I got bored because ultimately it will end badly.
I liked Sam at times, but have always had issues with him, and the final straw was definitely him shooting Gaeta.
The show used to be more daring. There was a point where I would believe that Roslin would let Baltar die. But Kara marysued her way back to life (with, after all is said and done, no consequences at all) and guess what? Bill, Lee, Kara, Baltar and SHaron/Six will all be standing in the final episode NO MATTER WHAT. And I would not be shocked to see Roslin there as well.
Ha! So true. I think that's why the show's lacking a lot of emotional power for me these days. It's all so predictable--and there is zero real suspense because only minor characters will die and their deaths can usually be spotted coming a mile away. I laughed at your last sentence: I'm starting to feel the same way too, and given how much they've foreshadowed her death that will really annoy me.