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Introspection
I've been in a very introspective mood recently, and among other things have been contemplating my fannish status.
It's not been an easy couple of months for me with my fandoms. Smallville Season 7 wasn't the strongest season ever, but it did have some brilliant Lex material, except now, of course, he's gone. And the news re. Season 8 has not exactly filled me with hope. I will watch Season 8, but I do feel like things are coming to an end there. The remaining aspect I'm most invested in (Clois) doesn't seem to be a big part of the writers' agenda for the season so realistically I think there will be a dimming in my enthusiasm for the show. I'm kind of ok with because it's a very gradual thing but it is hard because it was my gateway fandom and it's not the only show that's coming to a close...
BSG. Sigh. BSG has been haaaaard. I didn't even realise how high my expectations going into season 4 were until they totally failed to be fulfilled. I think I found it a lot easier to roll with the punches (or plot holes) in season 3, when there was still plenty of time for things to come good again. Now I feel like there's a ticking clock while I'm watching and a voice screaming 'they're running out of tiiiiime!'
Where my ship (Kara/Lee) is concerned, I feel completely crushed. It makes no sense whatsoever to me to play that big grand scene at the start of this season and then have them not even speak to each other on their return. I know there's a lot of other plot threads going on, but I'm talking 30 seconds. That's all it would have taken.I have a horrible feeling the writers don't feel they need to do any further storytelling about them, and that they've pressed 'pause' on the whole relationship until, say, the last 15 minutes of the final episode, when they'll suddenly throw in some tearjerky declaration of love before nuking at least one of them. (Um, yes, my cynicism is a problem.) If that happens, it will actually piss me off MORE than if they had actually ended the relationship formally for some greater plot purpose. I want character consistency, dammit, not 'shock!' moments.
I know my crankiness about this is spreading to the show as a whole, but I've also been disappointed in Lee's plot. I was so excited about his political career, but I thought it would be played with slightly more realism. One week he was the new guy, the next he was CAG of the Quorum (everyone looking to him), and then WHAM! he's President. I can't be UNhappy about that, but it could have been better (particularly Sine Qua Non).
I miss being in my emotions when I'm watching BSG. Nowadays I get thrown out of it so often, I find I'm picking holes in the eps before they're finished. I try to get back into it but... that emotional connection is missing most of the time, and it's leaving me feeling empty. My heart's not in my meta these days and I miss it.
I've been having a long hard think about what to do about this. Obviously season 4.0 is nearly over and there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm a completionist and I *do* want to see things through to the end of season 4. How could I ever give up on Lee?! :D However, I clearly need to a) lower my expectations and b) acquire some zen.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
queenofthorns has been rewatching earlier seasons and I'm thinking that this could work for me too. I am due a rewatch anyway and it might help me to either find other aspects of the show to enjoy or just revel in nostalgia for the bits I always liked.
The other zen-inspiring solution I've come up with is: VID. When in doubt, vid. Vidding creates an emotional distance even when there's not one and usually allows me to reconnect with the source in a different way. So I'm still engaged but my expectations and desires are different. I've got several BSG vid bunnies floating around my head at the moment (Paranoid Android left a big hole) but am yet to fully settle at any of them. I think I'll push myself to do so though because it will cheer me up AND keep me distracted.
This leads me to the third part of my fannish crisis/transition though. I think I'm starting to be a vidder as my primary fannish THING. I don't know whether that sounds presumptuous or obvious, but it was quite the revelation to me when it occurred to me earlier this week. It's not a reflection on the quality of my vids (just to be clear!), though I do think they're getting better--it's more about the amount of time I spend vidding versus other fannish activity these days. I started out writing meta mostly, and I don't see myself ever giving that up, but with the two main shows I write about on the wane, it's not surprising I'm feeling a little lost. But more and more I approach fandom from a vidder's perspective--I even vet potential shows on how good they might be for vidding! When I've got spare 'fandom' time, I inevitably watch vids. Or rec vids. Or beta vids. Or vid. ;)
Overall this is a positive realisation because vidding is something I can take with me beyond my current fandoms. However, thinking it through, I do have some anxiety about the fact that it's a less interactive fannish activity--or it feels that way. Vidding is a lot of solitary work. Meta, on the other hand, is a short burst of solitary work and then (when it's going well) a lot of fascinating to-ing and fro-ing with other people. So I experienced some probably-misplaced anxiety about possibly losing some of the social aspect of fandom if I retreat into my vidder's shell. I think there's a fairly easy solution there though, and that's to keep posting and commenting regularly.
I guess I'm both interested in and a little freaked out by these changes. I've been in fandom several years now and this is a new phase for me.
If I wasn't so introspective right now, here's where I'd be playing...
-svgurl is running a Lois Lane Love week and posting daily round-ups of activities. I'm looking forward to catching up on the weekend!
-latxcvi has a mega-poll on the best and worst of Smallville, which I am very curious about.
-talitha78 posted some great truths about vidding.
-daybreak777 made an AWESOME post about favourite vid moments which I totally totally want to emulate, but every time I try and narrow down my choices I go into meltdown or find that an hour has passed and I've been playing the same vid over and over again. One day! Soon...
It's not been an easy couple of months for me with my fandoms. Smallville Season 7 wasn't the strongest season ever, but it did have some brilliant Lex material, except now, of course, he's gone. And the news re. Season 8 has not exactly filled me with hope. I will watch Season 8, but I do feel like things are coming to an end there. The remaining aspect I'm most invested in (Clois) doesn't seem to be a big part of the writers' agenda for the season so realistically I think there will be a dimming in my enthusiasm for the show. I'm kind of ok with because it's a very gradual thing but it is hard because it was my gateway fandom and it's not the only show that's coming to a close...
BSG. Sigh. BSG has been haaaaard. I didn't even realise how high my expectations going into season 4 were until they totally failed to be fulfilled. I think I found it a lot easier to roll with the punches (or plot holes) in season 3, when there was still plenty of time for things to come good again. Now I feel like there's a ticking clock while I'm watching and a voice screaming 'they're running out of tiiiiime!'
Where my ship (Kara/Lee) is concerned, I feel completely crushed. It makes no sense whatsoever to me to play that big grand scene at the start of this season and then have them not even speak to each other on their return. I know there's a lot of other plot threads going on, but I'm talking 30 seconds. That's all it would have taken.I have a horrible feeling the writers don't feel they need to do any further storytelling about them, and that they've pressed 'pause' on the whole relationship until, say, the last 15 minutes of the final episode, when they'll suddenly throw in some tearjerky declaration of love before nuking at least one of them. (Um, yes, my cynicism is a problem.) If that happens, it will actually piss me off MORE than if they had actually ended the relationship formally for some greater plot purpose. I want character consistency, dammit, not 'shock!' moments.
I know my crankiness about this is spreading to the show as a whole, but I've also been disappointed in Lee's plot. I was so excited about his political career, but I thought it would be played with slightly more realism. One week he was the new guy, the next he was CAG of the Quorum (everyone looking to him), and then WHAM! he's President. I can't be UNhappy about that, but it could have been better (particularly Sine Qua Non).
I miss being in my emotions when I'm watching BSG. Nowadays I get thrown out of it so often, I find I'm picking holes in the eps before they're finished. I try to get back into it but... that emotional connection is missing most of the time, and it's leaving me feeling empty. My heart's not in my meta these days and I miss it.
I've been having a long hard think about what to do about this. Obviously season 4.0 is nearly over and there's nothing I can do about that. But I'm a completionist and I *do* want to see things through to the end of season 4. How could I ever give up on Lee?! :D However, I clearly need to a) lower my expectations and b) acquire some zen.
queenofthorns has been rewatching earlier seasons and I'm thinking that this could work for me too. I am due a rewatch anyway and it might help me to either find other aspects of the show to enjoy or just revel in nostalgia for the bits I always liked.The other zen-inspiring solution I've come up with is: VID. When in doubt, vid. Vidding creates an emotional distance even when there's not one and usually allows me to reconnect with the source in a different way. So I'm still engaged but my expectations and desires are different. I've got several BSG vid bunnies floating around my head at the moment (Paranoid Android left a big hole) but am yet to fully settle at any of them. I think I'll push myself to do so though because it will cheer me up AND keep me distracted.
This leads me to the third part of my fannish crisis/transition though. I think I'm starting to be a vidder as my primary fannish THING. I don't know whether that sounds presumptuous or obvious, but it was quite the revelation to me when it occurred to me earlier this week. It's not a reflection on the quality of my vids (just to be clear!), though I do think they're getting better--it's more about the amount of time I spend vidding versus other fannish activity these days. I started out writing meta mostly, and I don't see myself ever giving that up, but with the two main shows I write about on the wane, it's not surprising I'm feeling a little lost. But more and more I approach fandom from a vidder's perspective--I even vet potential shows on how good they might be for vidding! When I've got spare 'fandom' time, I inevitably watch vids. Or rec vids. Or beta vids. Or vid. ;)
Overall this is a positive realisation because vidding is something I can take with me beyond my current fandoms. However, thinking it through, I do have some anxiety about the fact that it's a less interactive fannish activity--or it feels that way. Vidding is a lot of solitary work. Meta, on the other hand, is a short burst of solitary work and then (when it's going well) a lot of fascinating to-ing and fro-ing with other people. So I experienced some probably-misplaced anxiety about possibly losing some of the social aspect of fandom if I retreat into my vidder's shell. I think there's a fairly easy solution there though, and that's to keep posting and commenting regularly.
I guess I'm both interested in and a little freaked out by these changes. I've been in fandom several years now and this is a new phase for me.
If I wasn't so introspective right now, here's where I'd be playing...
-
svgurl is running a Lois Lane Love week and posting daily round-ups of activities. I'm looking forward to catching up on the weekend!-
latxcvi has a mega-poll on the best and worst of Smallville, which I am very curious about.-
talitha78 posted some great truths about vidding.-
daybreak777 made an AWESOME post about favourite vid moments which I totally totally want to emulate, but every time I try and narrow down my choices I go into meltdown or find that an hour has passed and I've been playing the same vid over and over again. One day! Soon...
no subject
This is what I mean by OOC. If she's smart enough to know it's not a crazy thing to think that the chick who came back from the dead might be a cylon, then why is part of her problem the rage of "How dare anyone not trust me???". She isn't dumb. She also wasn't hysterical enough to completely disregard this and that she was so nasty and affronted didn't ring true to me at all.
It was so obvious that they had him give her a ship because it suited the writers' agenda and not because it made character sense. It's one of Ron's stupider 'oh I thought the audience would roll with it' moments. And yeah, the lack of payoff makes it particularly galling. Gaeta lost his leg! :(((
It was also a great big timewaster, which irks me even more. Guess what - we didn't need any of this plot to get us to this point (and I include Gaeta actually getting a story - it ALL could have been cut). There was absolutely no need to drag out the demetrious storyline. Guess what? They find a heavy raider two days into the search. Kara lets the CYlon on board. SHe wants to take the Demetrious - Helo who is in charge says NO, but allows her and a crew to head to the basestar in a raptor. Helo goes with, and sharon and sam. Gaeta takes the Deme bac and reports the scary ass plan.
Then the basestar stuff happens. They jump back to the fleet and stand down. All in ONE FREAKING exciting episode! Without a completely gratuitious couple of killings and maimings. (Maybe Barolay needs to die to make the cylon stuff but Gunny Mathias and Gaeta shoulda been fine) Except that we needed to fill five episodes so Kara treating everyone like garbage and a lot of dumb deaths got added in. I would give up Awesome Gaeta scenes if the plot moved faster. (My dislike of Gaeta losing hsi leg is that it was purely a chain yank, it marginalizes an actor who is a LOT better than Trucco or SHarma, and it sets Gaeta up to devolve into a really bitter, angry character and snce thats EVERY Other CHARACTER on bsg, I don't need it)
Trucco as an actor annoys me - I can admit that. Sam as a character was one I liked until the endless CYlon angst and then I got bored because ultimately it will end badly.
Point - I assume that the only people who survive to the final episode are main cast, but I am going to be really annoyed if we have to sit thru secondary redshirt death of the week until the final episode. The show used to be more daring. There was a point where I would believe that Roslin would let Baltar die. But Kara marysued her way back to life (with, after all is said and done, no consequences at all) and guess what? Bill, Lee, Kara, Baltar and SHaron/Six will all be standing in the final episode NO MATTER WHAT. And I would not be shocked to see Roslin there as well.
no subject
Ok, sorry: I'd assumed your complaint was that she was overly emotionally demonstrative, which was complained about a lot at the time. I think your point has a lot more validity and I found the writing clumsy too.
All in ONE FREAKING exciting episode! Without a completely gratuitious couple of killings and maimings.
That would have been sooooo much better. Sigh. You're so right. All completely unnecessary and gratuitous.
My dislike of Gaeta losing hsi leg is that it was purely a chain yank, it marginalizes an actor who is a LOT better than Trucco or SHarma, and it sets Gaeta up to devolve into a really bitter, angry character and snce thats EVERY Other CHARACTER on bsg, I don't need it
WORD, WORD, WORD!
Sam as a character was one I liked until the endless CYlon angst and then I got bored because ultimately it will end badly.
I liked Sam at times, but have always had issues with him, and the final straw was definitely him shooting Gaeta.
The show used to be more daring. There was a point where I would believe that Roslin would let Baltar die. But Kara marysued her way back to life (with, after all is said and done, no consequences at all) and guess what? Bill, Lee, Kara, Baltar and SHaron/Six will all be standing in the final episode NO MATTER WHAT. And I would not be shocked to see Roslin there as well.
Ha! So true. I think that's why the show's lacking a lot of emotional power for me these days. It's all so predictable--and there is zero real suspense because only minor characters will die and their deaths can usually be spotted coming a mile away. I laughed at your last sentence: I'm starting to feel the same way too, and given how much they've foreshadowed her death that will really annoy me.