bop_radar: (Clois catch)
[personal profile] bop_radar
So... you know how I posted a couple of months ago saying 'whee! I am off meds and all is AMAZING AND GREAT!'? Yeeaaaaaaaaaaah.... slightly premature, hence my long silence.

There followed a couple of weeks of excruciating pain and rising panic and anxiety. Without going into too much detail, I never want to live through that again. At least it will be a strong motivator never to go on that poison again.

Of course, I had (typically) attempted to do ALL THE THINGS in the month where I finally got to zero so crazy physical and emotional shit aside, I've also been rather busy. Edited several large projects for work plus my best friend's novels (soon-to-be ebooks). Had [profile] m_a_r_i_k_s visit (so much excitement!) and as well as hanging out and seeing some sights, helped her make a music video (zero experience on my part so it was one of the most insanely stressful but coolest things I've ever done). Crashed my car in the middle of said filming (thankfully no one injured but car nearly totalled). Learnt a few life lessons in the process.

Then there were a few weeks where I slept or lay on the sofa in a kind of comatose state of shock. I am just emerging...

Fannishly, I'm ... not fannish. Or at least it's at a 5-8 year low or something ... Better to be honest about that I think. Although, [profile] m_a_r_i_k_s and I watched The 10th Kingdom (looooove) and the third season of Farscape (ALL THE FEELINGS :((((((((((((((((() while she was here. However in terms of current fandoms I'm just not that engaged and unlikely to be so quickly.

But I do miss vidding and I am pleased to see the vids coming out of Vividcon right now...

I didn't log into my fandom email account for months so it was kind of TERRIFYING. O.O I forgot that one of the reasons I stopped doing so was that the vast deluge of comments I receive on 'I'm Not Yours' (especially in the wake of Lip Service Season 2) is very bad for my mental health. :( There were one or two gems (ah YouTube comments, never change in your whimsy and bad spelling...) but wading through offensive, ignorant, emotional or unthinking comments about a show and characters I'm still heartbroken over is not fun. I guess it was good to face it because it's been a hidden pain/fear.

On the positive side of things... I've now been off meds for a couple of months. Physically I feel great, emotionally I feel more resilient than ever before, even though I've had quite the number of emotional crises in that time. Not a single one of them made me consider reaching for medication. I feel great about that and especially grateful for the liberation from side effects which I'm starting to experience--notably my low blood pressure issues are markedly better, I shake less and I lost a couple of kilos without really noticing (ok that was probably partly due to the intense filming schedule but I'll take it!).

So that's me. How are you guys????

PS. I have strangely been missing Smallville lately. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE FINALE THIS HAS HAPPENED.

Date: 2012-08-14 12:45 am (UTC)
laurashapiro: a woman sits at a kitchen table reading a book, cup of tea in hand. Table has a sliced apple and teapot. A cat looks on. (Default)
From: [personal profile] laurashapiro
I saw this while I was at VVC but wanted to wait until I got home to comment so that you could have my full attention.

I'm really sorry to hear that you crashed so hard after going off the meds. Having gone through the SSRI rollercoaster with friends and loved ones, I've seen how devastating it can be. And jeez, totaling your car on top of that! ::hugs::

Sounds like you're doing a lot better now. That's great! I really hope it continues.

Since you asked: I'm doing well. Really busy at work (hence my lack of posting), but things are good there and at home. VVC was kind to me which I think will boost my fannishness -- already enjoying a bit of a lift this year thanks to actually liking the things other people are caring about (Community, Sherlock, the Avengers, and now Parks and Recreation).

Missed you this weekend! I hold out hope you will make it back to VVC. I would love to get back to Vidukon, but it's not gonna happen in 2013, unfortunately.

OH I FORGOT OMG FARSCAPE IT IS THE SHOW OF MY HEART YAY ♥ ♥ ♥
Edited Date: 2012-08-14 12:48 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-08-16 01:56 am (UTC)
laurashapiro: (goofy aeryn)
From: [personal profile] laurashapiro
Yep, Parks & Rec is new to me as of just this month! We've started S3 now. I have a few problems with the show but am really enjoying it, especially all the great women on it.

Oh, Farscape. Oh, show of my heart. Oh, S3. Yeah, it's like that. (: S4 has some fairly fucked-up shit in it, IMNSHO, but some really brilliant stuff, too. Overall I think S2 is my favorite (Crackers Don't Matter!!!), but S3 is a strong contender.

I have an Aeryn vid I've been sitting on for absolutely ages. Maybe I can manage to make that over the next year. I would certainly love to see what you do with the show, and especially with Aeryn, whom I adore beyond reason. I can tell you it's the most rewarding source I've ever vidded -- so colorful, and the camera is never still!

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